Commentary on Chapter 10
with Peaches, Biscuit, and Mary
Peaches (The Cat): Okay, Chapter 10 is the ultimate lesson in human thirst. Caroline Bingley is doing absolute backflips trying to get Mr. Darcy’s attention while he’s sitting at the table trying to write a letter to his sister. She’s literally pacing around the room, complimenting his handwriting, and begging him to write faster. It is the most desperate thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like me staring intensely at Mary’s face at 5:00 AM hoping she’ll wake up and feed me, except I actually have dignity.
Mary: It really is a masterclass in how *not* to flirt. Caroline is trying so hard, but Darcy is completely tuned out and just giving her short, blunt answers. Meanwhile, he keeps looking over his letter to see what Elizabeth is doing.
Biscuit (The Corgi): Wait, Mary! Why is he writing so fast? Is he writing a list of all the toys he’s going to buy? Or a letter to the mail carrier telling them they are a very good boy? Because I would like to write a letter to the mail carrier. I have many thoughts about the way they walk up the driveway.
Peaches: He's writing to his sister, Georgiana, Biscuit. But the best part of the evening happens when Caroline realizes she’s losing Darcy’s attention, so she asks Elizabeth to walk around the room with her. She thinks showing off her posture is going to seal the deal. But Darcy’s response is elite. He looks up and basically says, "You two look great walking, but if I join you, I'll ruin the aesthetic. Plus, I can admire your figures much better from right here on the couch."
Mary: It’s a total trap! He’s teasing Caroline, but he’s secretly inviting Elizabeth to banter with him. Elizabeth immediately calls him out on his pride again, and they get into this big, witty argument about whether it’s okay to laugh at people’s defects. Darcy says his real defect is that his good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.
Biscuit: *Glares* Lost forever?! Wow. That is a very mean rule. If Mary forgets to give me a piece of cheese, I forgive her the very next second because she is my best friend! Why is Mr. Darcy so stubborn? Does his tail not wag?
Peaches: He doesn't have a tail to wag, Biscuit, because he’s an emotional brick wall. But Elizabeth’s response to him is perfect. She looks him dead in the eyes and says, "Your defect is a propensity to hate everybody." And instead of getting mad, Darcy just smiles because he is completely infatuated with how spicy she is.
Mary: Miss Bingley noticed the sparks flying too, so she immediately jumped to the piano to play a lively tune to break up the tension. She is officially terrified of Elizabeth’s influence.
Peaches: Good. Caroline Bingley deserves to sweat in her fancy silk shoes. Elizabeth is running circles around her without even trying.
Mary: It's setting up the domestic tension perfectly. Ready to see the famous rain-soaked walk fallout continue in Chapter 11?